IMPOTANCE OF MARRITAL SEX

Many women today endure marriage rather than enjoy it. The man that was once head over heel in love with them, who could do anything for them is now like a total stranger to them. As far as many of these women are concerned, their man is the problem. He is the one that must change. And in search of solution to their marital problem, they move from one prayer house to another, pray all manner of prayers and take all manner of counsel from both qualified and unqualified quarters but all to no avail.

The truth is, over the years, I have come to discover that nobody has the power to change any other person other than themselves. The only way to change others is to change ourselves. For most of these women, the key to changing their husbands is changing themselves. It has been said that one of the definitions of madness is to keep doing things the same way and yet expect a different result. To get a better result other than you have been getting in your marriage, you must learn to do things differently. And as said earlier, you have power over yourself alone and not on your husband, so for once, look away from your husband and concentrate on yourself. What are the things you should do differently to get a different response from your man? The solutions to the problems we face in our homes as women are not often beyond us. We only need to look inward rather than outward. For women who are passing through turbulent times in their marriage and sincerely desire a turning around, you may have to do the following:

work on your sex life
Many women need to know how important sex is to a man and to the survival of their marriage. Many have lost their husbands because they are not up and doing in bed. They are always developing headaches and giving one excuse or the other every time their man turns to them for sex. And many of those husbands have innocently fallen into the hands of hungry women who are ready to give them more than they desire, that which their legal wives are always denying them. Is that the situation with you? If yes, then you will have to change. The way God made a man, sex is the most important thing to him in marriage. In fact, the first reason why he married you is so that he can have it when he wants it, and no matter what you do for him and on his behalf, if he cannot have it when he desires it, he sees you as not fulfilling your marital obligation to him.

The urge for sexual satisfaction comes before every and anything in a man’s life. This is unlike a woman, who has sex as the last thing on her mind. He does not just see sex as pleasure, he sees it as something he cannot do without; something that is paramount to his survival in life. That is why he cannot but turn to another woman when the one that should help him in fulfilling this urge is not forthcoming. As a wife you must know that the health of your sex life is directly proportionate to the health of your marriage. The way to a man’s heart they say is his stomach, but I have discovered that this is not the absolute truth. To me, the way to a man’s heart is under your skirt. That sounds dirty but it’s the truth. When a man has a wife who is ‘alive sexually’ to him, he will do everything and anything for her.  There are homes that are surviving in spite of the fact that the woman of the house is not a good cook. All they have to do is to make sure a good cook is employed and a wise woman in such situation makes sure she employs a man and not a woman as her cook so as to make sure she does not create a crack in her marriage. But the role of sexual fulfilment is such that a woman cannot employ another to fulfil. That is why every woman must make it her priority if she wants to keep her man. And the truth is, no matter what your opinion is concerning your husband, there are a thousand and one women out there who will be so glad to help you in fulfilling this role. So, my advice is, don’t be slack.
Make it enjoyable
it is not enough for a woman to be there for her man sexually, it is most important she contribute her quota to make each of their sexual encounters an exciting one.  Many women believe they are only to be on the receiving end. So, they just lie there like a log of wood, not contributing to the act, waiting for him to be through. This does not make for a great sex. For sex to be great for the two partners involved, they both must participate. Your man may not tell you, but I can speak authoritatively that he doesn’t enjoy being on the giving end alone. Just as he is touching you, he desires that you touch him as well. He desires that you guide his hand to the part of your body that gives you utmost pleasure.

In making it exciting, another thing your husband desires is that you sometime take the initiative. An average Nigerian woman believes she will be playing cheap if she initiates sexual intercourse with her husband. And this belief does not only stop her from initiating it; even when wants sex, she pretends as if she does not want it, in order not to appear cheap. But this is not the truth. My research has revealed to me that rather than men looking down on their wives for initiating sex, they see it as something great. In fact, it is something every man looks forward to because it gives him a sense of fulfilment. He sees it as a confirmation from his wife that he is satisfying her sexually and that she approves of him sexually. It boosts his ego and self-esteem. It boosts his self-confidence and gives him an assurance that no man can lure her into it in his absence.

Another way of making your sexual life enjoyable to your man is to verbally express your satisfaction to him during the very act.